Craigslist doesn't have a category for this

I am not peddling for organs or random body parts.  Erik made it very clear that he doesn't want me to do that.  I didn't want to do that.  The Dialysis clinic people told me that was crazy talk and I should pass out the info.  If they think THAT was crazy talk they clearly don't read this blog.

Many people have asked for information on how to get tested to be a donor.  We are overwhelmed by and grateful for the inquiries.  

For that reason only I am putting the information here.  

Cleveland Clinic

216-445-3150

OR

1-800-223-2273

Patient ID:  58224219

It is a completely confidential.  We won't know if you inquire, if you get tested, if you don't get tested, if you are a match and then decide that maybe giving up a piece of your flesh really isn't your thing.  We won't know and we don't want to know.  This is a totally personal big decision and we get it.  

You can also call the donor hot line for all sorts of things.  If you are interested in donating blood, or bone marrow, or a uterus because you are totally done with it (maybe that's just me?) to totally random people well then they can advise you on that too.  

My PSA for the day:  Fill out your donor preference on your driver's license.  If you didn't do it before you can do it online in most states.  You can also sign up to donate organs, eyes and tissue online at this link.  

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming….

I am sort of hoping to get into this partner swap donation program thing (soon to be reality show, I hope) where I give my kidney to a random match and Erik in turn gets a kidney from their partner.  I'm already listing out my negotiation talking points for why I would then deserve a little extra nip and tuck and wrinkle straightening while they are at it.  I would already be unconscious and they would have the tools so it's really not putting them out too much.

Ideally I would like to make this swap deal with someone who has the ability to administer botox.  On demand.   I could taunt them with my pretty vibrant healthy high functioning kidneys until they are so high on sugary dialysis solution that they have no choice but to promise me a lifetime supply of wrinkle removing procedures.  That doesn't count as illegal trafficking of organs because it is totally just a hypothetical.  But if you know people have them text me.

In my world a live donor transplant in early August would be ideal.  Kids would still be off school, I wouldn't have to drive to the clinic daily in the snow, I have no work trips planned, and I could start planning a winter vacation.  Really it just fits my schedule.  I am sensing, however, that the transplant coordinator might be friends with the social worker and I think they are conspiring to slip me in for a psych consult while I'm getting my blood tested.  Whatever.  

And for your viewing pleasure…as I was typing this up Erik came in to set up his dialysis machine.  He gets it all set up a few hours before he hooks up.  The set up process also requires a mask.  I might start wearing the mask to the airport.  Or the grocery store.  Just so people stop talking to me.

For anyone who just gasped, my wall really doesn't look like the color in this picture.