Delays

Clearly the universe is playing some sick trick wherein I am supposed to learn something about the beauty of patience.  I am patient.  Very patient.  If I say do it now I mean do it now and I don't expect you to do it earlier than now.  So that's reasonable.

We are in the home stretch of the evaluation process but they need one more day.  September 23rd.  Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but 3 weeks from now.  Whatever.

With all of my free time I think I'm going to write a book.  Maybe more like a pamphlet.  Like the ones the cult type people create that are really contraband and hand out all stealth like on the corner of some dark alleys in downtown Akron.  Or Hudson.  The theme is the secret world of dialysis.  Seriously.

When we entered this world of kidney failure and dialysis machines they told us a lot of stuff.  I'm sure most of it was useful. They couldn't wait to tell me that my allegedly antibiotic bath and body works soap amounted to nothing more than a pretty smell good accessory.  So fine, I had to buy a bunch of ugly bottle looking antibacterial soap.  Again I say whatever.

No one told me about the real deal.  Like headphones.  When the dialysis machine is beeping all through the night in a tone that sounds creepily similar to the carbon monoxide alert warner thing headphones are the way to go.  

When your hooked up to a machine spouse can't sleep and needs to watch tv at 3 a.m. headphones are your savior.  

When your wife gracefully and without comment or negative implication silently and all ballerina like grabs her pillow and ventures off to another bedroom to get some actual sleep in the middle of the night Best Buy becomes your new best friend.  The next day Erik purchased a new tv and bluetooth headphones for our bedroom.  Reality people.  True life reality.

What about the pesky little dialysis tube running through your room that is clear and blends into the carpet and tile thereby serving as a booby-trap type tripping weapon of warfare in the middle of the night?  Colored ribbon.  Tie a yellow ribbon round that old oak tree all of a sudden has some meaning in my house.  Except it's hot pink.  And there are about 5.  Guiding my path to the bathroom lest I trip and rip the cord out of Erik's abdomen.  At least I would be wearing headphones and couldn't hear the screams so my peaceful night could remain intact.

Remember my obsessive research phase?  I googled this.  All of this.  And nowhere anywhere did any one provide a list of real life tips and tricks to surviving dialysis.  

I'm on it.

So the good news is the longer we wait the more time I have for gathering helpful material for my pamphlet.  Which probably really should be called a book because seriously I have a lot to say.  Shocking, I know.

And for your viewing pleasure I present two of my babies watching the Indians win.  Another shocker.